


Troubled heart

by FlatJeremy2



Category: Class (TV 2016)
Genre: Charlie revealing true form, Coming Out, Hard Decision, M/M, Truth, fear of answer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-28
Updated: 2016-11-28
Packaged: 2018-09-02 20:28:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8682295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlatJeremy2/pseuds/FlatJeremy2
Summary: Matteusz wants to ask Charlie if what he sees is his true form. He knows in his heart it doesn't matter, but fears asking the question might undo them. Charlie wants to be honest with him but fears Matteusz might not be prepared for the truth. Neither of them know if their relationship is strong enough to survive the answer.





	

_What would you do if today were the last day? Knowing that you would say something that would change your life for the better or end all that you have. Would you be honest and say what troubled your heart or lie just to have one more day?_

Matteusz pondered these questions as he entered their bedroom. Charlie sat at the computer. He paused to give him a smile before returning to his work. Matteusz went behind him and placed his hands on his shoulders. He closed his eyes trying to hold the moment, the smell of Charlie’s hair.

He felt nervous. He was about to do something that might end their lives together. But he knew if he didn’t it might end anyways, maybe worse. He could feel Charlie’s hands cup his. “Matteusz, what is it?” He opened his eyes and Charlie looked at him with concern.

“Charlie,” he stopped and moved to the bed. “We are honest with each other, we can be I mean.”

Charlie got up from his chair and followed. He took a seat beside him and held Matteusz’s hands in his. “Always.”

Matteusz took a deep breath and placed a hand on Charlie’s cheek. He looked into his eyes, studying them. “Charlie, this isn’t your true form is it.” His boyfriend avoided his gaze, looking down. He began to pull away, but Matteusz held his hand firm. “I do not ask because it concerns me, it is not knowing that I fear may one day undo us.”

Charlie watched as a tear fall to his leg. He wanted to answer Matteusz’s question, but if Matteusz didn’t like the answer, he would end all they had. Anger welled in him. “Does it matter?” He wanted him to take his question back. “Can we not just be happy as we are?”

“Charlie, I have believed for sometime you might look different than what I see. I know that in my heart, it does not matter to me.” He placed his hand on Charlie’s chin, turned it to his face. “Things keep threatening us. At some point your true form might somehow be revealed. If it does and we are in danger, I don’t want you to see fear of you in my eyes, or be concerned about what I might be thinking, when we should be dealing with the threat.”

Matteusz took a breath, trying to find his words. “Fear of the unknown, can only be undone by knowledge and understanding.” His hands shook, he wasn’t sure he had expressed himself well. He looked down. “Will you draw for me what you look like? So if that day comes, all I see is you, and we can concentrate on the moment at hand.”

Charlie knew what Matteusz meant. His anger dissipated. He was reluctant to do so, but being here in their room, talking open and honest, Matteusz was right. “If this is what you want,” Charlie got up but Matteusz kept hold of his hand.

“No, only if you want to as well.” He looked up to Charlie. “If you are not ready or comfortable, then we will wait.”

“Sorry, that isn’t what I meant. I didn’t mean to sound like you were pushing me, just that you are ready to see me.”

“I am.” Charlie went to his desk and collected his pencils and sketchbook. He returned to the bed and opened to a new sheet. He looked at Matteusz, “We will do this together. I am not ashamed of what I look like, just afraid you may no longer be attracted to me.”

Matteusz knew that that was a possibility. He would never leave Charlie’s side either way, but if their relationship needed to evolve it was best to do so now he thought, while their love was still young.

Matteusz watched as Charlie sketched. First he drew Charlie as he was. Little by little he erased parts of his face, replacing it with changes. He could feel Charlie watch him from time to time. Mateusz placed his arm round his back, to provide reassurance and comfort.

When he finished his drawing, Charlie looked up at Matteusz. “This is me, and I am like you like.”

Matteusz smiled, it hadn’t even occurred to him that Charlie might not be pleasantly equipped. He looked into Charlie’s eyes, and broke the silence. “I see you.”

“What do you mean?” Charlie was confused, of course Matteusz could, he had just drawn himself.

Matteusz saw his confusion. “When you began to draw, I wasn’t sure if I would be able to recognize you in your true form, but I see you.” He leaned forward and kissed Charlie’s forehead, then looked him in the eyes. “I love you, whether like this,” he caressed his cheek, “or in your true form. I love you.”

His words brought Charlie comfort, but feared what wasn’t said. He held his breath and looked at his boyfriend. “Are you still attracted to me though? Cause I am happy to stay…”

Matteusz interrupted Charlie, lips pressed to lips. He kissed Charlie, deeply, and then looked into his eyes. “Yes.”

Charlie felt relief wash over him. “I am glad we did this.” He wiped tears from his eyes. “When you first asked, I thought this all might end.”

Matteusz pulled Charlie into his arms. “I was afraid to. I want to know you, everything about you. I want us and what we have to be honest.”

_Sometimes we need to need to lie. Sometimes we are too dependent upon our situation to let the truth free us. For Matteusz this was not the case. He believed in the strength of his relationship with Charlie, that in whatever form, life would be better living in honesty._

_Together they would explore Charlie’s appearance, in many ways. The last secret that stood between them was cast aside, now they truly knew each other._

**Author's Note:**

> After writing this it kind of felt like a coming out story for Charlie. I might right a different version, where he comes out to Matteusz.


End file.
